Episode 8

The Prostate Results

Previously Charlie had a really bad MRI prostate result, so he had to get a biopsy. (Listen to the two previous episodes.)

He has been waiting for a while for his prostate biopsy results, and finally today is the day.

The day of the results, and arriving way to early, Charlie passes the time playing chess against the computer. With the advice from others, including Debbie, Charlie prepared with his pen and notebook with pre-written questions.

The doc walks in pulls down his mask and says......

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The Prostate Results


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Charlie Ponger, Debbie Nigro

charlie ponger:

Hey everyone, welcome to the official teenagers. I'm Charlie Ponger.

Debbie Nigro:

And you're alive. Oh, hi guys. I'm Debbie Nigro and Charlie as of the end of the last episode, he was waiting for results, test results, it was up to whether he was going to live or die. And whether I was going to get the coffee pot he just bought for himself the brand new one I couldn't really use. I like the thought about you all day. Oh my god, Tommy the day you're getting the results, which was two weeks after or no, no. Oh, yeah, let's do brass gauge story. We'll do


a quick recap. I go I first I have a PSA test. And it's high. It's 5.8. So the doc, you get into graphic like nobody cares. Then I ended up having to do an MRI. And the MRI said, Oh, you're in trouble. Right? That's it. So then I gotta get a biopsy. The doctor doesn't say anything during the biopsy or after and I told that story that was like, bizarre.


Yeah, there's no facial expression. They tell you nothing will call you in what they say we can have a


week and a half. That's ridiculous. So then I gotta wait. And so I'm trying to stay busy. My friends take me to Clemente, his clam bar in New York City or in Brooklyn and the whole thing. That's the day to go.


And now I have it on my calendar. Yeah. Charlie's results. Yeah, so I'm thinking of you all morning. I'm sending love messages like Charlie is gonna be okay, getting through, get on whatever it is. I've been there done that this is good. Everything's fine. I'm like, I hope he's not going to die. But I really liked the coffee. But But anyway. So what happens?


So I know I'm planning for this whole thing. I have my book with me. Make sure my pens, my pen and pencil set? What's


that gonna do for you? If you're going


to write notes, right, like questions to ask, because you're not going to remember, why did


I tell you to do to write questions. That's not what I told you what I said, and this goes for anybody listening who's gotten going to get a diagnosis or result at a doctor, you have to record it. Unless unless you have somebody sitting with you, which I actually encourage people to bring another human to listen. Because if you're waiting for crazy information, you are not yourself. The brain is not going you're only listening to here. Am I going to live you're trying, but it's not work. It's not working. You miss a lot of little things. So you took a pen and paper instead of the recording. I told you on your phone just hit record.


I had it set up for record. Right. I had it I even tested it before I left. And of course I'm so friggin early for this thing. Because like I got anxiety, you think you know? So I get there. And I'm like a half hour early thinking, well, maybe I could push the envelope a little bit. They put you one room put you in another room. I got my I got my phone man playing like 10 rounds of shots against the computer, you pay, right? And the doctor walks in. And I'm sitting against the wall. He walks into the door, picture that right? And he's got his mask on. And he turns to his left and looks at me pulls his mask down. I'm like, I'm screwed. And he goes, I got good news. I'm cancer. It's such


a great opening. Oh, I


go. Why? It's like, so I had all these notes with all these questions. I'm like, I'm alright, I could check that one off my mind. Right? But I finally said Alright, so what about this 90 ML thing? You know this and he goes, you don't have any problems, right? I go no, nothing really, you know, it goes well, then there's nothing to worry about. You're fine. I'm like I'm fine. After all


that it's so exhausting to be fine. I know. I sound ready to not be fine that when you're fine. You like don't know what to do with yourself.


Debits true, right? I was like you like buddy.


You told me my prostate was the size of an NBA basketball. What? What happened to that?


Yeah, well, he goes, You have no you just have a large prostate for your age. That's it doesn't bother you. Right? I go. No, he goes,


you don't have any dressing around it or you.


You don't have any problem going the bathroom. I go. No, not really. He goes you don't get up in the middle of the night. I go. No, I don't.


Oh, do you really Charlie, because last night I'm laying in bed. Yeah. And I see an infomercial. Yeah, guys with giant prostate who can't go to sleep and they stay up all night. I wrote it down. I get it from my bed. I go I better get this down in case Charlie needs the prostate information. And I also have two other friends who for some reason over pizza, keep volunteering their prostate information. And I actually sent it to one person this morning.

Debbie Charlie:

A good friend of mine and I'm like, Okay, I said blah, blah, away. You're not sleeping having to get up so much. And I saw this on TV last night. I thought it might help you. Lots of love. Check it out. And it is prostate Plus Reviews does prostate plus really work?


These problems at this age? It's ridiculous. How about what you said to me, like, before you left before I was gonna get my results you said to me, Hey, if they take out your prostate, put it in the garden over here. Make sure they keep the cheek implants and maybe something will grow out. I was like she's such a son of


a bitch. You could call instead of Prospect Park, prostate Park. Hey, welcome to prostate. You said


it and you just walked up the steps in your back to me waving goodbye. And he just loved


Welcome to prostate bar. Yeah,


unbelievable. Anyway,


I'm so glad you're okay. Because it's good to be okay. You know, I had been through the conversation you had with the bad answer. I know two times. Yeah, no. And you just said something funny. I remember when I was waiting for the APA first operation, you know, they were taken out I don't know. Everything. And I'm in the gown waiting for the operation cancer operation and I my friends are in the emergent like, they're in the room with me the operating room, but like, not the actual operating right. And we were playing Deal or No Deal. Oh, my iPad. That's how I was dealing.


No, yes. Yeah, you gotta. But you gotta laugh. Right?


Yeah, we gotta live. I was worried about you getting ops a lot. app. So lag niam. What's up? So lag nem that dwindling of the urge to merge?


I don't have a problem with Latin. You're so good. I'm the opposite of that.


You have what are the? What's the opposite of opso? lag? niam? I don't know. So absolutely.


All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Thanks for listening to the results. Maybe you got a little education here. What do you think Deb? Yes,


I think the big the big note to take away from this ridiculous conversation but that you're going to live which is a good thing is if you have to go deal with information in front of a doctor that uncomfortable or giving you a huge amount of anxiety, whether it's the first conversation or the last one. You need to bring another human with you to listen for you. You're never going to get yourself if you have no friends and no people. Please bring a recorder and hit on. So you can listen back because it's really matters.


And don't listen. Don't read Dr. Google. Just don't go no,


don't google don't google don't click because there's all these other people who Google stresses you out. Because all the other people that the wrong story. I know. You're thinking what's my story? Not your story. Your story is your story. And also your mind over matter. Your mind and your thoughts affect your cells. This is proven I've proven it. Very powerful. Do you think you're gonna be okay, you pretty much your gun. Yeah. Okay, just hang in there. Yeah, talk to your high end brains. A little brain talk to the bigger brain. We got to keep this thing moving. Get the immune system up. Let's roll.


I keep my little brain and my little my big brain are very different than each other.


It's amazing that yeah, you have such a big prostate.


Alright, everybody, thank you so much for listening. And please don't forget to share you got to share the show because we want to be number one, right?


Okay, we want to be number one. We mostly want to just, you know, put a little humor in the world. We want to live a very dark world. Yeah, we're not kids anymore. But we think we are Yeah. Do you know anybody who's like us that probably like this conversation? What's your reason? Probably hitting a nerve or two on something they've gone through. Oh, here's my here's my friend texting back about last suggestion. All


right, everybody. You're welcome, buddy. See you later. Bye. Bye.

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charlie ponger

Hey Everyone, The Official Seenagers is a comedy improv riffing podcast. Featuring self-deprecating storytelling and so much more!