Episode 9

She's a Trans!

Charlie, Debbie and Luz riff on cars, aggressive lip syncing and trans.

funny storytelling!

Don't miss this episode


She's a Trans!

car, drag queen, keys, underwear, put, lip, driving, title, girls, drag, ready, waiting, fat, reality, celine dion, singing voice, friend, dances, grocery bags, stand, happy, love, teenagers, Seenagers,


Charlie Ponger, Luz Michelle, Debbie Nigro

Charlie Ponger:

Hey everyone, welcome to the official Seenagers. I'm Charlie ponger.

Luz Michelle:

I'm Luz Michelle. I'm

Debbie Nigro:

Debbie Nigro. Hi guys, how we doing today? You know, we spend a lot of time in certain places in our lives, and we're captive. And I was thinking today about how many stupid things are going on lately with me in my car, like, I'm stupid, like, stupidly, I went out to get my car the other day, and I looked down and just my underwear was there under my driveway. Or my underwear doing in the driveway? And it was because I own it, you know, I was thinking, who else was here who could even identify it? I had to look closer, there was dead animal, there was my black underwear. And I was putting a bunch of stuff in the car to go to the gym, and I must have grabbed underwear. And that was like, crazy. So now I bend down to get the underwear and go to get in the car. I'm like, Oh, damn, there's those reading glasses under my front seat. Looking for those right so I got those going on. I come around the bend. I'm like, I came and get my car, all that donated stuff. I haven't dropped off yet. A lot going on in my car. What's going on in your car?


Well, not so much in my car. But I was with a you know, these solely suitcases over here. I was with these people like three weeks ago. And we went somewhere. And we're getting back in the car with their dog, Coco. And he goes, Hey, where are my keys? And he turns to his his turns to his girlfriend and says, You got my keys. I don't have your keys. Where are your keys? Meanwhile, I had called my other friend and said I'm going to be there in a half hour to call him back and go, Hey, I think I'm going to be a couple hours. Because why go because Pete can't find his case and the personnel Haven't they? They were arguing in the parking lot about the keys, right? Who's what? We're searching all over the place for the keys. We can't find them. Finally, they get an Uber with the dog and go for an hour back to their house. I stayed there I didn't want to come back. I'm like no way. No way. No way. I sat on a park bench for three hours. Where were the keys really? Nobody ever found the key, okay.

Debbie Nigro:

Got another car is a nightmare. They went got


another car with another set of keys and he goes here and I hear you got to drive this. So I drove his car back and he drove his other car back. And that was it. They never found the keys. And then I had another time where I was driving in

charlie ponger:

the car and telling all the stories and you're like one more time.


And then I'm done. I'm gonna take the diaries of the car by Charlie. So my friend calls me on the phone dating this girl, you know, hands free. I'm driving but I you know, you lose your concentration about you're talking because I'm making a left hand turn and he goes, Well, what does she do? And I said, well, she's a trans, she's trans. She's a trans. She's a translator.


And he goes, I thought you went to the other side. I was gonna say goes I was gonna say you know, whatever James your head drolly, whatever makes you happy.

Luz Michelle:

Baby. I love to support you. I support what you do in the car. I aggressively lip sing in the car. Aggressively I let terrible terrible it's great. Like Eminem is my favorite. Tupac wait a minute you know I'm blasting music but I'm lip singing to it because I don't have a singing voice so you're pretending I'm pretending which rap that's rapid Celine Dion is my number one lip sing for Celine Dion. Yeah. Because I haven't ever had a singing voice. So I learned that a young age and a lip sing and perform and what about Whitney is kind of like a drag queen. I have like, I have dances to like certain like Christina Aguilera songs in my life. Like I've been doing this for a long time.

Charlie Ponger:

About Whitney Houston.

Luz Michelle:

When he Oh my god, some of them. Yeah, I do and the back motion.

Debbie Nigro:

And she's lovely. Professional. I think

Luz Michelle:

I am like over 30 years. Lip singer.

Debbie Nigro:

Only she would come up with aggressive lips. Right? Speaking of drag, do you know RuPaul Drag Race is a big store around the world. You've seen it?

Luz Michelle:

I don't know anything to reality. Love it. Oh,

Debbie Nigro:

it's called drag race.


It's Ru Paul's drag race reality show. And all these really talented drag queens compete in challenges to impress RuPaul who by the way, is the most gorgeous guy when he dressed up as a woman and when he's not it's like Oh, come on. Gorgeous. Girl stuff back on. He's the most world's most famous drag queen. Did you know that? No kidding. Yeah, come on. And then they they they try and win a cash prize along with the Crown and the title of America's Next drag superstar and so there's like all these challenges. Yeah, very cool. Well, we're gonna challenge


you love gonna dry I've been doing Drag a couple of shrine shows Keywest years ago and don't tell mama in New York City.

Luz Michelle:

Fine. Don't tell mama has been through a couple of them


a long time ago. But I what's coming to mind right now is the New Year's Eve when I was 18 in New York City and I went down with my friends at the train and it was happy new year and I was like waiting for the ball to go up and he came down. I was like, Oh, I'm gonna get hit in the head with the class and the thing was blood was on my face. And I went to the bathroom and hard and harder and I came out I was like, what? I look up and there's two gigantic women, giant, gigantic women in front of me in front of the mirror, putting lipstick on and stuff and I'm thinking Oh, are they in? One of the anyway was to drag queens but I was too young to understand that yeah, of course. Yeah, we're also they're gonna be shocking to me. Because I'm a big girls.

Debbie Charlie:

Big girls be girls are in big girls are really in Yeah, it's such a great time in the world to be a big girl. I was a big girl when it was not in when I was little. And I had to fight to be popular. I had to use a pull every trick. You know, the fat and a little fat thing with the curly hair and bam launch shirts. I had to push that personality now everybody's happily fat. They're dancing and jock joking and his there's all kinds of fun clothes for fat girls and there's fat girls in videos and everybody just loves being fat.

Luz Michelle:

We're gonna cut this I was

Debbie Charlie:

thinking What about


I want to get back to your car for a second you bought your car from

Debbie Charlie:

small thing in somebody's life could be a big thing in somebody else's life. I actually had to decide am I going to lease am I going to buy lease and buy bought the car out and I drove away thinking? Oh my god, all these problems in mind now God forbid anything happens. But anyway. Yeah. Big girl, man car.


Okay. You buy it from the leasing company. Like did you go through the paperwork? Yeah, just when did you mail the stuff in? Or did you go to the DMV?


I don't never want to go to the DMV.

charlie ponger:

You bought it now. They're gonna send you the title. I got the title.


You got it. Now you got to send that title to have it put in your own name. Did you know that? Yeah. Yeah. I'm explaining I'm not mansplaining because it just happened to me. And it is you? Name course of adda you better look at that title. They sent it to you. I'm telling you the truth.


Okay, here's a question. What do you do with a car title to keep it really safe? Where are you supposed to put it? You make a copy you put you lock it up? That's it. Everything comes down to the

charlie ponger:

get it? Yeah, you better put it in a safe place.

Debbie Nigro:

You're gonna sell a car to go your title. Yeah, like I had the title. Yeah,


whenever it's right there birth certificate. It's not that important. Yeah. Important. Did I say that right? Important


it's a little things that make you feel really proud of yourself that you accomplished like mailing a letter. You finally it's driving well on your on your visor in your car for three weeks person's birthdays past things have passed and you actually mail the letter on time gives you great joy. It is great joy little stupid things right? Donating I've been driving around I kept putting stuff in my car didn't fit didn't just other people could use it. I finally dropped it off and donate it. Oh my God gives you joy.


Are you remembering to take your grocery bags out of the car and go to the grocery store yet?


Never 600 grocery bags in my car ready to roll? And I come out and they go Do you need a bag and I go Yeah, I guess


you're not using my trick. Still I told you about the trick. You're still not doing it.


No. I liked the trick though. We put everything in the carton just wheel it to your car. Yeah,


and then you put it in the bag the 600 bags that you have and you always forget

Luz Michelle:

to vulnerable you stand in there for a real minutes why don't like that? What do you mean packaging ever putting everything in the man what is your what do you mean by vulnerable? Like you're standing in a parking lot in where we live? Yeah. Or other parts. I like to be ready get in the car get in the car and go when you get


in the car and go Are you a person that just gets in the seat turns on the ignition looks where it is and backs out and goes or do you take five minutes to get out of the parking spot?

Luz Michelle:

You know it depends really what what is the


delay? I haven't this happened to me the other day


I'm seriously What's the delay? Delay can be any any one of 600 things Yeah,


I'm waiting for this woman to back out.

Luz Michelle:

Spa No, Someone's waiting I'm out. Because I hate that


it was really it was really like I couldn't believe how long it was.


Because you live in your pocket but where are the glasses? Do I have the keys? She saw me she saw


me but disregard that. Is that a disregard that you can't

Luz Michelle:

expect people you know just


because you're there doesn't respect you. You showed up out of nowhere she's happily pulling

Luz Michelle:

out I was there and I was there waiting. But


there's no law that she's got to hurry up because you're waiting but guys do

Luz Michelle:

now I've waited for guys to you have a damn spot. Yeah,


because they're checking their phone and


email the thing but the thing on the floor the thing. The thing picks that up with this in the bounce. The assumption Yeah, it is. Gotta get ready.

Luz Michelle:

Are you throwing your hands in the air?


They're patiently listening to Barry White you know? Yeah.


Oh no is there protocol for that? There is really no law that says somebody has to hurry up and get out of the space.

Luz Michelle:

I've beeped I'd be paired they just like what are you going are you not going like should I wish that you


oh my god I'm like a writer ready

Luz Michelle:

especially if the reverse lights are on.


Yes your lights were on reverse. Yeah, somebody


can do a reality show of people alone speaking in their cars out loud.


My friend Patti boy


driving that whole reality


everybody especially in California it's unbelievable. Yeah, what do they do so much trash animals out? I'm sure absolute animals I can't stand any of them

Luz Michelle:

No, I love joking


about that. That we have a lot of listeners in Northern California. Yeah, oh,


oh, yes. Oh, oh. Oh, whoa, is an amazing yeah. CBD line. Yeah, high quality super duper high quality. And they're an amazing company about wellness and these are all these products that now are at your disposal by going to oho.com au hho.com


And how do you know that oh, so good.


Because you keep rubbing in on yourself for the last six

Luz Michelle:

years supporting Charlie's experience yeah


so now I'm gonna go there now and get samples from Sophie but she has no idea


again with this sponsor has no idea who you are. Yeah, no idea. You

Luz Michelle:

come you awkwardly standing outside.


You haven't given your co host anything to try.


He's gonna do that today. I'm going and telling her today.

Luz Michelle:

Ask him. He should videotape.


You can't do or something you haven't tried any pressures

Luz Michelle:

as every week.


Everybody 123

Luz Michelle:

CLA Bye.

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charlie ponger

Hey Everyone, The Official Seenagers is a comedy improv riffing podcast. Featuring self-deprecating storytelling and so much more!