Episode 20

Seenagers Write Ins! Top 10!

The Official Seenagers, Never Too Late.

We asked people to write in and finish this line. You know you are a Seenager when....

And they did, here are the top ten.

You know ur a seenager when.

Today’s top ten write ins

You can listen to all of our funny sidebar comments for each of the top ten

1.    You start out with a 4 head and now u have a 5 head

2.    Understanding that getting older isn’t the same as growing up

3.    You usta do cartwheels and now you fall over putting on your underpants

4.    When you see an old person and you realize you went to high school together

5.    You thought getting older would take longer

6.    You came you saw, you forgot, then you retraced your steps and got lost

7.    It was heads shoulders toes and now its keys, glasses, wallet and phone

8.    You could give a crap about matching socks

9.    Your train of thought leaves the station without you

10. Sing.. If you happy and you know it, it’s your Meds, your happy and you know it, it’s your meds, if ur happy and you know and you really wanna show it, take ur meds!

Transcript

Seeenagers Writing In!

AM •:

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

teenager, seenager, never too late, laughing, charlie, day, shaved, number, hair, put, talking, colored, phone, karate kid, onesies, deb, funny, thought, man, cartwheels, forehead, Amazon, Jeff Bezos, Murphy Brown, heads shoulders knees and toes, if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands, take your meds

SPEAKERS

Charlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro, Debbie Charlie, Debbie Nigro, Debbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger, Charlie Ponger

Charlie Ponger:

Hey, Deb.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Hey, Charlie, what's happening? Man? We are the official seenagers.teenagers Yeah, act accordingly.

00:07

Yeah. Accordingly,

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

you know, people tune into this podcast thinking they know what we're talking about. But just to clarify, we don't know, ya know, we define an official seenager teenager is someone like who's not young, but not old, kind of like a senior teenager, but not really, you know,

Charlie Ponger:

we're kind of, we're kind of all over the place, right.

Debbie Charlie:

But we did ask our listening audience what they thought a seenager teenager was and it was question that we said, you know, you're a teenager when and the answers are fabulous.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

All right, so I'll do the first one because it's about guys. Okay. So you start out with a forehead and now all of a sudden, you have a five head. I don't get it. So five heads. So if you put four fingers on your forehead, I get it right. That's the forehead. But now that you're getting older, now you got to put another finger under there and you got to five. I would never

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

guess that we lost a good one. That's a really good point, guys. I'm so sorry. Why does the hair recede? So far back,

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

please. What do I know? It's a bicycle so far. I'm okay. In the front. You know,

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

there are very very sexy bald men out there. And some men really do rock the boat and some guys just can't. Can't get into it because they don't want to hit Well hang on to every last hair. Oh, the guy

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

from Amazon shaved his head. He did. Yeah. Who is that? Bezos. Oh, he did. He saved shaved his head. He shaved his head. And he takes some kind of testosterone to do to build himself up. I mean, he was a skinny little twerp. You know why? You could have all that money? I wouldn't want to be that guy. T and all the money that he has. I asked you have you and is tough on the eyes.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Have you ever been involved? With me? Have you ever shaved your head and gone ball?

Charlie Ponger:

Oh, I almost did you ready for this? Sure. This is a funny story.

Debbie Charlie:

Okay, because I'm a girl who has been bald twice. Not by choice. Oh, yeah. So I know bald.

Charlie Ponger:

Okay, so this is what happened to me. Now. You're so you're you turn 50 You lose your job. Now all of a sudden, you're like trying to figure it out. You want to you want to look young, the whole thing. So, you know, I've been gray forever. So are white, whatever you call it. So I colored my hair. Okay.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

Because I was so worried about LinkedIn and all that sort of crap. You know, to get back into the system. You never had an eye color and I had my goatee colored and I looked like Carlton your doorman member that Murphy Brown. Yeah, I just couldn't believe it. So now I'm like, Well, what do I do? Because these girls colored my hair for me. And it looks so ridiculous. Who's here? So that she said put put a peroxide in it. So now my hair is yellow. Yeah, well, I shaved the whole friggin thing off.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Oh, that's when you shave. Very good. Yeah, the face. Yeah.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

Well, it was it was ridiculous. So that was a one time I and that's a true story.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Well, the one thing about being bald is what you can get out of the house fast. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Girl spends half her life blow drying your hair or worrying about her hair and her hair do and this and that. A bald girl? Man she beat to the dinner table. Really good. The second one teenager when understanding that getting older is the same as growing up. It's not it's not the same? No, because we never growing up. No. But that stupid driver's license keeps messing with us.

Charlie Ponger:

Do you have in the mirror?

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Ma'am. Yes, ma'am. You want to get beat up now? or later? Ma'am. Do you have some identification? Yeah, I got identification. Look at this. Yeah, sure. Okay.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

How about this one? Used to do cartwheels and now you fall over pulling putting on your on your?

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Oh my gosh, no Truer words. Right. These are people who have written in who are fellows teenagers who get it and they're laughing when they're laughing with us. Yeah, this whole show is we're laughing at ourselves. It's not making fun of anybody else. Unless you're else and we have to make fun of you. But it's not intentional. It's just we're making fun of ourselves. Because if we don't laugh, there's not gonna be funny, right? Exactly. I almost killed myself the other day trying to put on my own do.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

You did? I almost fell over today. No, my underwear. Just my shorts. Underwear underwear.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

You don't you know? Oh, gosh. What was that movie? Where the The Karate Kid when he stands on one leg? The Karate Kid? Yeah. Every time I gotta put him anywhere. I'm like, think of the karate. Yeah. What did he do? Focus, focus. Get.

Charlie Ponger:

All right. Your balance gets a little off when you get older. Yeah, one. Yeah. One of the tricks is to brush your teeth with your eyes closed. And then when you brush your teeth, your eyes close. Pick up one leg. Go ahead. Try to do that. Everyone tried to do that for 30 seconds and I try every time

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

let me just say one thing. Good. I do not want to be found with one leg in a pitch with a concussion that killed me smashing into my dresser in my bed. I'm not going out. like that, Charlie, all right, no. Okay. What was it? Excellent. You know, you're a teenager when you used to do cartwheels, and now you fall over putting Oh, you said that one already. But the cartwheels, we should go back to that one.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

Yeah. What were you able to do cartwheels when you're younger? And was so good? No, let me tell you how good I was. I really envy that.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

I got a vision right now of what I used to do. My parents back in the day, parents used to have other couples ring the doorbell come to the house, sit in the living room, and wait for them to get ready to go out. Like rarely who does that, but they would send me in as one of the kids entertained those people until they got finished getting dressed, which was like really the rudest sport ever. So I was like, hey, people, look what I learned in dancy school they're like, oh, this little chubby bitch is gonna start doing cartwheels and when I would do a cartwheel over the house, I was doing his dance handstands twirl around I was good

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

nothing upside down for me nothing even to this day anymore. Alright, so the next one is that we are seen as your Wang Go ahead, Charlie. So when when you see an old person and you realize you went to high school together

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

that's not a good sign. So old right? They look old you don't look old. So we think now they look old and we do not look like that we don't

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

because look like you and I are Italian and we have that olive

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

doesn't matter who is saying this but nobody thinks they look as mind you these are our listener submitted you're a teenager when it's just great. Okay,

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

so the next one is number five because we did a top 10 Yeah you know your senior year when you thought getting old would take longer? Yes son of a bitch. Right? It was yet where's the last 30 years on believes I unconscious? Unbelievable. I'm sure everyone feels this way. Right You know,

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

I have this is priceless. Pathetic. My list of things to do today. Yeah. has carried over to tomorrow. For 30 So you have a condition you think you're a seenager teenager when according to our listeners of this official's teenagers podcast number six you came you saw you forgot then you retrace your steps and you got lost? Love? What happened?

Charlie Ponger:

Times? Have we all done that?

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

It's pathetic. It's pathetic. I told you. I went for a walk in the woods with Dave my boyfriend who's like, Yeah, Mr. MacGyver, I don't worry. And I'm like trusting him. And I was walking behind him thinking, you know, I was trying to get like EMS just in case. They would respond just in case, no service. And I kept yelling ahead. You know, are you going he's like, no problem. Yeah, okay. Problem. When somebody says no problem, they're lying.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

It's always a problem. Or when people say, I you got this now you know, you're in big trouble.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Well, you have to say you got this. Yeah. So they believe you know, you don't believe Hey, you know, you're a teenager when number seven is, Oh, I like this.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

Let's go ahead and do this. While ready. It was heads

Debbie Charlie:

and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes. And now it's keys and glasses, wallet and phone. And you get the garden like halfway up to where you're going to go. Oh, I forgot my phone. Right turn around and you only know your forgot your phone when your car says nothing connected. Right,

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

Deb? My walk to my car is what maybe you're gonna say like 400 feet. Do you know how many times I have to go back to the house? Yeah, of course I go. And it reminds me of when I was 17 because I did that all when I was 17 years old. I forget, but I forgot everything when I was 17

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

for getting a phone now. It's only it's only because like what if something happens? We don't have a phone. What if somebody's trying to call me I don't have my phone. Dave and I were going out the other night to I don't know where we were going to drive and go. I'm so sorry to this, but I forgot my phone. We have to go back and he doesn't even fit. He doesn't even flinch. He just makes the turn. Goes back here and I go I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm just makes the turn and I'm thinking myself. Can we do like I hate this movie? All right. You know you're a teenager when you are writing statements from our number A listeners number eight.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

You could give a crap about matching socks. No, I

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

kept imagine my sucks. Oh, you do? Yeah. I don't feel good. Oh, yeah, I buy socks don't match it.

Debbie Nigro:

I can't even go out. I can't I can't put two different socks on. Intentionally. Let

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

me ask you a question after you do your laundry. Yeah. Do you put the socks in enrolling together? Do you fold them? Oh,

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

but then there's always that hanging around or one you got always and you keep it just in case.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

It's just in case the other one shows up in case it was in the dryer is in the dryer or in the washer at some point and then it's gone.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

At some point when you have a bunch of onesies. Yeah, there comes a day and you never know when it's gonna hit you. We just go I can't take it anymore. throwing them out. I liked the onesies. Okay, let's keep going. teenager when number nine numbered weren't number nine or any Yeah, yeah. your train of thought leaves us issue without Do you find yourself talking to yourself?

Charlie Ponger:

Well, Deb, yeah, I mean, I do that.

Debbie Charlie:

Do you talk out loud?

Charlie Ponger:

Of course I do. You

Debbie Charlie:

say, Well, Debbie, seriously I walk around my house going,

Debbie Nigro:

and I like to say, you say Debbie, seriously? Seriously,

Debbie Charlie:

Debbie? You got to be kidding me and you know loud. And you know what I say?

Charlie Ponger:

Charlie, for Christ's sakes. What the hell did you

Debbie Charlie:

you know, be really true. You'll be really funny. Well, if we were to broadcast all of the teenagers talking to themselves at one time, it would sound like a Yankee Stadium everybody at one time we really funny Number 10

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

Number 10. is let's say me me me me me. Same Key

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

I had a flash good. It's why the aliens didn't come back and stay listening in they're going are you freaking kidding me? Let's come back in another like 100 year stop talking to themselves. So

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

the last one is like we save this for last because

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

you were seen as your one we have a drumroll or something. For number 10 a sound effect of any sort.

Charlie Ponger:

Yeah, I do. But yeah,

Debbie Charlie:

what kind of studios?

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

This is Charlie working the board while he's trying to be on the air and act as an audio engineer. At the same time Where's Bob But where's Bob when you need him? Excuse

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

me? I used to run the board and do major market read and you hit all the buttons and everything all the buttons all the commercials all the talking all the every gene

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

want me to try this while

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

it was like Close Encounters of the Debbie Klein it mean that studio was crazy. What was I don't know I there's so many I forget it, Charlie. Yeah. I'll give you a drumroll mer.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

If you're happy and you know that your meds that's the last one you're happy and you know that your message is written in by listening. If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show if you're happy and you know that you're taking your meds.

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Or you're a teenager when it's funny. There are people who take prescriptions and people who don't I don't take any pills. Yeah. I don't take any pills. Why? I don't know.

Debbie Nigro:

I don't take any pills either. You either

Debbie Charlie:

know, people with handful of pills every day, like pill boxes and pills lined up. And what is that noise?

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

It's just It's my daughter telling me Hello?

Debbie Charlie:

Hi. Yeah, so if you're a scene ager? Yeah. One of us. God knows we love you. Yeah. And we're so happy to have you tune into this show.

Charlie Ponger:

Thank you so much. Yeah.

Debbie Charlie:

Do you like to belly laugh about stuff that's going on that hey, it's reality, but who has to take it seriously? And

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

come on? Thank you so much for writing in right Deb?

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

Yeah. What do you see your teenager correspondents that we have coming up? Oh my god. Yep. Teenagers all over the country who are just going to record on their phones and send us their audio they meet people and they're acting as our correspondents state by state we

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

got a sexy saucy sexy Susie coming up from Florida that is absolutely hysterical. She

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

goes out that she moves to another state and goes on to happier times she reports in

13:12

so listen to Mitch, people do this. It's pretty funny. It's awesome. Isn't it? Great?

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

You know? It's only about laughing get your best friends who make you laugh and stay close man because the world is dark and we need light and say who? Yeah, there are some laughs coping mechanisms stress relief just doing our part here don't watch the news. News is rough. Don't watch it is rough news is rough every day.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

And go out when you next time you go out and you see somebody and you make eye contact with you don't know say hello

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

no and smile. Right and what you do better? Well better give them a compliment for no reason.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

Acknowledgement is one of the keys to life. You go hey, what a

ebbie Nigro & Charlie Ponger:

rocking outfit you got Andre.

harlie Ponger & Debbie Nigro:

See you later everyone.

About the Podcast

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Official Seenagers
Never Too Late

About your host

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charlie ponger

Hey Everyone, The Official Seenagers is a comedy improv riffing podcast. Featuring self-deprecating storytelling and so much more!