Episode 49

Misleading Maps!

Comedic storytelling. Charlie hurts his knee hiking and is in the woods far longer than planned. Later that week he walks into a meeting with Ink all over him and it just goes on. Wanna laugh? You gotta listen.

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Transcript

Misleading Maps

#car #woods #trail #walk #knee #nice #ridge #reservation #man #fist #compliment #listen #sponsor #chose #Ted Lasso #sun #pens

SPEAKERS

Luz Michelle, Debbie Nigro, Charlie Ponger

Charlie Ponger: 00:00

Alright, so we're gonna do an intro right now, Deb Okay.

Luz Michelle: 00:08

Well, good, good. Good.

Debbie Nigro: 00:10

Let's do this. Charlie. Do you want to stay on track? Fine, we'll give it a shot.

Charlie Ponger: 00:15

I was talking about before we just lost right now. Let's try to stay on track and see what happens. And Debbie said, I can't promise anything. I can't promise. We'll do our best.

Debbie Nigro: 00:28

I'm a girl who put chapstick under my eyes today thinking it was underpriced. Because I had smelled cooksville and coconut. What I bulls were smelling like coconut. I'm like, what is it? You know, there comes a time in life.

Charlie Ponger: 00:43

You're nuts.

Luz Michelle: 00:45

No, I know. That's not nice. But say encouraging words to other people. Lift them up. Way more positive words. Not just a good word.

Charlie Ponger: 00:54

You're a nice nudge. Say your uh, your your lovely. Past. Me. Impromptu nut.

Debbie Nigro: 01:01

Thanks so much for that extra line. That

Luz Michelle: 01:03

one liners Excellent. One liner.

Charlie Ponger: 01:05

Unbelievable. one liners. And when you make me invest, your forearm explodes every time you make a fist.

Debbie Nigro: 01:10

I make a fist. I must have. You just did. Now we got to post a picture. No, I don't. I don't make I don't

Charlie Ponger: 01:16

listen, you're probably gonna make a fist after after what? I tell you what happened? He had stories. All right, go. So I went to pound Ridge Reservation again. When I can.

Debbie Nigro: 01:29

And let you say that like yeah, in the wrong tone. Yeah. Well, people usually say hey, so I went hiking. Yeah, town's radio because I know you're going to destroy me. So because the story is not going to be good? Well, it's kind of not good. It's gonna be interesting. Yeah, it's

Charlie Ponger: 01:41

a little interesting. So um, you know, I'm working here. And I'm like, I need a mental break. So I'm just gonna go for an hour hike. And I'm going to come right back, clear my head

01:51

and keep doing what I was doing sound sound somewhat stable right now the story so

01:56

I chose to wind up a new trail. Boy, and I'm going up this trail, and I'm like, alright, I'll bang a left. I'm looking at the map. Says it's only like, three to five miles or whatever. It was right. I can bang that out.

02:13

Is this the same park and location where you went hiking and got lost last time? Yes. Is this the same place where those people said if you come alone, let us know. You're going into the woods alone? Yeah, but there's

Charlie Ponger: 02:25

nobody there during the week now.

02:27

So there's nobody to tell. No, there's nobody to tell. Your phone did not work last time. You thought you're gonna die in the woods. Well, I didn't think I was gonna die. I just didn't want admit it.

Luz Michelle: 02:38

So now he went back to that and chose a route he's never done.

02:42

And my phone had almost no power. I go left. I'm going up this hill. And my left knee gives out because I forgot to your old I forgot. Yeah. I forgot to put the Ohio CBD.

Luz Michelle: 03:01

Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Charlie Ponger: 03:08

It was uh, oh, yeah.

Debbie Nigro: 03:10

Now what do you lay down?

03:12

I got so of course, I have just enough cell phone to text some guys. And I only said this is what I said. Hey, I can't make golf next Tuesday. Oh, my, my blew up my my knees bothering me. And then because I wanted to give them enough time to like find

Debbie Nigro: 03:40

oh, by the way,

Charlie Ponger: 03:42

I didn't get to know because I actually think you know, when guys play golf, and then one guy can't show up. They need like four or five days to find another guy.

Luz Michelle: 03:56

Not when you blow out your knee. So

Charlie Ponger: 03:59

all right, well, so I thought it was gonna get better. So you know so now I'm I'm walking but I can only walk like 20 feet at a time and then I got to sit down and my knees first is pathetic. So now the map right so i The map is has no indication of where the hell I'm going. It doesn't even match up. What time of day is it? It's it started at like two o'clock in the afternoon. And I forgot that the sun goes down. You get a lot of problems. Yeah.

Debbie Nigro: 04:34

So do you ever learn from any of your past actions?

04:42

So now, I really can't walk right so I find this limb and I swing it like a baseball bat against the tree this you know the the trunk of a tree and I break it in half. So now at least I got something to walk.

Luz Michelle: 04:54

Walking Stick.

04:55

I gotta walk in have one. Right? I'm like limping, limping. limpin stop, sit down on a rock don't know where you are. Oh my god, I can't figure out where I am right because it's a brand new trail for me spandex and the leaves on the on the trail. No footprints, you can't even figure out where the hell am I on this trail? was no colored squares for the trail every now and then it would give you an I'm like, Oh, it's over there. All right, let me go that way, right. Yeah. An indicator. So now I'm like, Alright, the sun's going down behind around now.

Debbie Nigro: 05:36

This is like sweating when you're here and we're like, Alright, fine, fine.

Charlie Ponger: 05:42

Go down over the ridge. And then there's this really steep hill and I can't walk. And I'm like, and I'm thinking to myself self take try to roll down this or try to down hours later. I hear I hear a car go. Oh, that's a good sign hours later in the woods. Yeah, that's a good sign. So and then I remembered on my watch my phone, my Apple Watch. There's a compass there. So I'm like, Alright, time to remember I go I know that the sun sets in the west. And I know I just need to know I'm going south. And sure enough, not Southwest is dead. So. So I do and I get it. I get to the access road. And you rolled across the road. On route reservation. I go I know. I know where I am. It's like deep access road where no cars can go. But I knew because I used to cut through there on my bicycle. Right so now I walk in with the thing. I must I must look like I got it. I must look like the Unabomber. I swear to god My hair was all shun God, you know and everything leaves us coming out of my shoes and my drenched head to toe right.

Debbie Nigro: 06:57

All I can think is he's telling this story is he wonders why he's single would depend on this man to be a supporting partner in any venture in life. Girls don't even gonna want to hook up with you to go shopping. You get lost in the supermarket. So your social life Oh, keep you

07:21

young jolly. So now I make it to where they're actually there are cars on the access road. So I'm so I hear a car coming. Right so I wave

Luz Michelle: 07:34

because I can't fucking walk. It's a crazy

07:38

right? So the guy stops he pulls up next to me. He stops but he will roll down the fucking window. So I'm going like this window for Christ's sake. He rolls down the window. There's two little ducks in the thing. And then there's a wife in the back. I go, Hey, I go like this. They go Hey. Hey, listen. I screwed up my knees all screwed up. Do you think there's any chance you could give me a ride back to my car, which is like two miles away? You know, it's in the metals area or something like that. And he goes on. He stares at me like and he goes are those scrubs you got on? No, I know they look like scrubs. No, no, because he was feeling me out to see if I was a doctor or whatever

Debbie Nigro: 08:30

or serial killer excuse.

Luz Michelle: 08:34

Oh, maybe that's a mistake. Excuse me. Yeah, he was feeling you had to see if you were a doctor

Charlie Ponger: 08:47

so, so he gets no, I'm not a doctor, but I play one.

08:53

Yeah, so I bet I can hardly get in the car because it's my left knee. I'm getting in I'm trying to

Luz Michelle: 09:02

let you in let me higher being

09:05

he let me in. And of course now and his feeling his wife is like behind me having and and of course where do you live? I'm like, Oh, I live right on pound Ridge Road. Oh, we live near you. And so that's good. You know, oh, there's my car.

Luz Michelle: 09:20

And are you in the back with the kid? No.

09:23

I'm in the front two dogs are in the back with a wife barking at you know there. So I get to my car. And I can't help but to self promote my license plate says ha ha. And I look at it and I'm in such pain and I go oh, that's apropos and he goes why do you say it's apropos? And I said because we have a podcast name the official CNAME so I guess I'm gonna listen. You know the guy likes

Debbie Nigro: 09:57

me. God. Yes. What is a nice man who

Charlie Ponger: 10:02

never asked his name? No. I said, if you'd like to show text, email a symbol.

Debbie Nigro: 10:08

You never asked the man. Oh, nine random man 22 took around dogs and wife let you in his car. Yeah. And trust you. You don't say Hi, my name is Charlie is your name? Sir, thank you so much, sir, for not thinking I was gonna kill you and let me in the ridiculous man was a doctor wasn't relevant. His name wasn't relevant. So this is really a bad story. Yeah. Check yourself. Alright.

Charlie Ponger: 10:42

So then I go to our news. A couple days later, I go to our new sponsor. Oh, right. Oh, good. I go in. I don't realize a pen had broken all over me. And showing up. So I'm sitting down. I sit down and I'm talking to impress him. Tim, the president of the company. Love it. Right. Okay. Tim, the president. I looked down, and my hands are literally covered in black ink. All right.

Debbie Nigro: 11:15

So have you thought about sending me to the meeting?

11:18

So I'm trying to go would I go with you? Would you look at this. I said to him, and I'm thinking to myself, Oh, and so Oh, no. And so he goes, Oh, he goes, I thought you had a black guy. I go, What do you mean? And he goes, you have black underneath your career? Here I am. So now he goes, we're talking about tattoos. And we get on the subject of the Black Panthers. And I go actually had a black panther on my arm. And he goes you did

Debbie Nigro: 11:52

another sales angle conversation?

11:55

Some chatter right? By and so he goes, Oh, can I see? And I go Sure. So I go to unbutton my shirt now and I realize I don't have a T shirt on and I'll get right back up. And he goes, we started talking he goes you know, you remind me of Ted last

Debbie Nigro: 12:13

better than Ted Bundy

Charlie Ponger: 12:16

because you're always looking for the positive and everything and I'm like, is this an insult or a compliment this guy

12:22

now he's a really nice way really? Tell us your unusual Ted last Oh, if somebody called you I love the guy compliment I never saw I never watched the show I'd loved so much as Ted last I heard about it. I didn't know how MITRE was I got addicted to it. So you actually got a nice compliment. Compliment means you're also a little goofy

Luz Michelle: 12:45

and oddball good people

12:49

d next quarter. First quarter: 2023

Debbie Nigro: 13:07

All right let me I just want to review please follow along with me let's make sure we have