Episode 45

The Relatives!

The Relatives!

Official Seenagers, comedic improv storytelling, has a few family guest join in the laughter.

Cousin Tom and Aunt Linda star in some hysterical storytelling moments. 'The Relatives' is laugh out loud funny!

Sign up for our Friday email

Donate to our show

Thanks! Good Vibes Only!



The relatives!


tommy, linda, people, drove, airport, life, aunt linda, gum, casket, open, colorful, relatives, teenager, walk, hairpiece, sciatica, age, charlie, hear, boca


tom, Debbie Charlie, Tom Andrea, charlie ponger

charlie ponger:

Oh my god. Alright, here we go. Hey everyone. Welcome to the official seenagers say hi, Deb. Hi guys. Rose Hello

Debbie Charlie:

everybody. Hello, Michelle that's Charlie ponger Over there. Yeah, Guys

charlie ponger:

and today, you know, before we started the show, I went into the refrigerator like Tony Soprano, looking for the cold cuts. I got so aggravated that I ripped open the thing I couldn't open up the thing just to get to a little prosciutto is driving me nuts,

Debbie Charlie:

packaging packaging. People are missing me by it, but you can have certain prescription bottles too. I have trouble opening them. Yeah, I know. You get a little older and you drop in dead because you can't open the thing that's gonna save you.

charlie ponger:

I had a problem with a oHHo because I couldn't open the thing like the dropper. Oh, no, I drove I drove. I drove over there and said, president's Hey, Tim, I can't get this forget. I think it's default. I think he can't get it open. He goes, looks at me. And he goes, Oh, it's all you got to do is press it down and turn it. Adult proof

Debbie Charlie:

we're adults here. Oh, no, you'd never know some days. And we were talking about who in our lives adults are our most colorful and funniest relatives. Right? Right. So I don't have to even question it being right. Linda, Julie from The Love Boat. She's 78 She's killing it down in Boca, she's got more energy than all of us put together and I said, Oh my gosh, I have to get her on the show. So we started the conversation. I said, Charlie, who's your most colorful relatives?

charlie ponger:

And I said my cousin Tom, who happens to be on the line, right?

Tom Andrea:

Hello, hello. Hello. And Charlie guess. What I was doing before the show was I was clipping my nostril hairs. thinking this is a TV interview. look pretty. I stopped was thrown away. I 'm sorry. No, that's what I do. It's so important. We know that hate when you trip on those things. So


Tommy great mine.

charlie ponger:

Tommy is my favorite and funniest cousin. Wow.

Tom Andrea:

Doesn't cousin Lisa. Listen to this podcast? Sorry, Lisa. Lisa's writing it down.


Big Boy. Just listen to it. Yeah, he does. Oh, so I really

charlie ponger:

so sorry. So there are two I'm just gonna tell you to share with the audience to unbelievably hysterical experiences that Tommy has done. Where's

Debbie Charlie:

Tommy? By the way, Tom, where are you?


Manchester, Connecticut. A little suburb? No, no, a large suburb outside of Hartford. Oh,

Debbie Charlie:

yeah. We don't have any teenager correspondence there. This is helpful. Oh my gosh, so run with this time.

charlie ponger:

So when Tom when Tom's dad passed away, there was a funeral we were talking about the other day. And his brother Michael spoke. And his brother Bobby spoke and the sister Carla spoke and everybody's really somber. You know, she could hear a pin drop. Now it's Tommy's turn to speak. And he looks out over your over to the audience. And he goes, now I know what you're thinking. And he pauses and he looks all over the crowd. Doesn't Tommy look great today?


Yeah, too, was dead. Yeah. How to break the tension. Like come

Debbie Charlie:

on. I know. I know.

Tom Andrea:

It's my goal to break tension. So that's that's what I do.

Debbie Charlie:

You know, I'm the family you logist in my family ever. No, seriously because yeah, I was I couldn't talk better than most people. So so every time but everybody was dropping dead like Bom bom bom bom became like a regular routine. That was my version of standup because there's things about your family that everybody knows what you're not saying about their eulogy. Right? So you have to look for all the fluffernutter stuff that you can say and all the beautiful things right but there's everybody's got the eyeball like and what about that?

Tom Andrea:

You have to be very careful with humor because some people don't want to hear humor at a funeral. Yes, and you're like well, that's too bad

Debbie Charlie:

I had some fun with my mother because you know she put everything was in tinfoil so I just had the Bible in tinfoil as I was reading from it my mother would appreciate perfect

Tom Andrea:

perfect Hey had already signed me up getting probably is already signed me up to do his talk about pressure. And he said can I hear it? I hear?

Debbie Charlie:

Oh my god. It's really funny. Yeah,


I know you're not hearing it before we go. No, I have a great opening line. Wait, do you guys hear it?

Debbie Charlie:

but you're not going to hear.

charlie ponger:

Hey, Tom, how about the time the first time you and I were pallbearers for Aunt Mary

Tom Andrea:

and we loved her. Lisa, we

charlie ponger:

loved your mother, mother. So I have the bottom of the casket and I'm walking up steep stairs and Tommy and I are chewing gum. And I realize we can't be chewing gum, church. So I take, I take mine out, I take my right tacky, I take mine out and I point to Tommy and I'm like, you know, to his face like your gum, you got to get rid of the gum you didn't and he looked at me with eyes as big as possible and he was like, holy shit. So he goes to throw out the gum with one hand right now the caskets turning

Debbie Charlie:

now now

charlie ponger:

all over the place, and he throws the gum and it sticks to his finger on top of the guest like what the fuck do we do

Tom Andrea:

we're laughing hysterically. By now is the doors of the church are opening and you can see our shoulders up and down because we are laughing It's like does not deserve what we are doing to her and you're not a nice manicure so I didn't want to get the jump on my nails. The pressure was on Tommy we give a eulogy casket I think it's a lot easier. So

charlie ponger:

for me and we were going down that aisle right Tommy with our shoulders get up and down in tears and people thought we were crying.

Debbie Charlie:

We were we were laughs are when they're inappropriate. Laugh can drain yourself. You're peeing in your pants.

Tom Andrea:

bawling All right. Now that happened to me once after the fact. You know, I don't know about you people. But the older I get now that I'm a teenager, I'm not overwhelmed with famous people anymore. You know, I mean, I'm the background actor. And when I meet famous people, so I get hot, you know, at my age, when I was younger, I'd be like, Oh my god, oh my god. But now I'm like, Yeah, okay. But there was one time in Vegas, where I ran. Give, I turned a corner. And I saw someone that I saw it. I knew when I went, Oh my God. And and I lowered my head because you get nervous. Yeah. And then you lower and then you raise your head again to say hi to make sure you can tell your friends. Yeah, that's why I ran into

Debbie Charlie:

was it me?

Tom Andrea:

The corner look like I know, who is Weiss. I even said hi. I didn't see this couple. They just throws at their table. Watching me introduce myself.

Debbie Charlie:

That's why you have

charlie ponger:

such an audition. Because

Debbie Charlie:

those storefront mirrors are reflections of God right.


And I knew I knew this guy from somewhere. It was just shows spontaneous. And he had a great manager. Just oh my god, and it was me. And I just walked away with my head down saying I have to go to bed now. As my sister says, I'm exhausted from the exhaustion. All right, was

Debbie Charlie:

cousin Tommy, what do you do all day?


I'm retired. Yep. So I stretch in the morning. And then I stretch in the afternoon, and I go walking. And then I go to the grocery store. And then I come home and watch Golden Girls or Hallmark movie.

Debbie Charlie:

And then I have to stretch again. Let me just Yes.


I'm very, very happy with this. And

Debbie Charlie:

it's taught me you're very, very flexible. You can be our most flexible guest I honestly


more ways than one jab. Absolutely, but I like it. I really like the slow pace of retirement. I can be as frantic as anyone, even in retirement. But I'll have the time to be manic.

Debbie Charlie:

Yeah. I mean, listen to what you're talking like right now.


No, when I listened to what I'd be like, Wow, I

Debbie Charlie:

was managed. We'd love to meet you sometime. How are the holidays going with the family these days? Just as everybody's still get together was nobody around anymore. Well, we get


smaller and smaller. Guys dispersed family has passed away. Family we don't like to talk to you down to two people. It just works. But I'm telling you, there's a peacefulness in that smallness. I don't know about you, but we've grown into a smaller crowd quite easily.

Debbie Charlie:

You know, as time goes on. because people pass in these the empty chair every year, the empty and another empty chair, it's you know, it's like a holiday pain, right? But then you realize nobody wants to come to your house because you're not fun. There's just no people to know then, you know, nobody invites you because like, I can't go to their house because it's no people there. Well, I had run out of people. I

charlie ponger:

had a great time at Tommy's house during the holidays, because his older brother would break out the accordion.

Debbie Charlie:

Oh, wow. Yeah. Linda plays the accordion play the accordion. Really? Yeah. Like he's coming up next. His

charlie ponger:

his other relatives are breakout guitars. And we, we literally harmonized like the King family.

Debbie Charlie:



Yeah, those days are over.

Debbie Charlie:

I looked at my watch, it's probably time for you to stretch now. So all right, stretch. We're gonna let you go. But


I look forward to meeting you and Liz, one time in person. So let's all do that next time I come down to the area. We want you to have a happy Thanksgiving and happy home.

Debbie Charlie:

Can you do me one favor, though? Between the time we see each other again? Could you look around town when you're not looking at yourself and see what's going on with this teenager population and give us a report back from your neck of the woods. anything cool happening? I'm on it. As a job. You might swim past somebody and go oh,


I'm on it as long as it doesn't interfere with naptime.


He sleeps. He sleeps 12 hours a day. I love it. That's


not true. 14 and a half. All right. Thank you all for having me. I appreciate it.


Happy to borrow me. Thank you so much.

Debbie Charlie:

Great entry into the colorful family. He may win.


All right, who do we have on the line now?

Debbie Charlie:

Well, in the next in the lineup of most colorful relatives is Aunt Linda. I'm calling her right now. Yes. Hello. Yes, she is. She is my contribution to most colorful relatives. I'm proud to introduce you to Aunt Linda and I grow well, I Charlie, how are you?

charlie ponger:

I'm good. I just saw a picture of you fascinate sassy

Debbie Charlie:

and lose Michelle or other money Canadians say hi. Linda. Nice to meet you. And everybody. Pleasure. Everybody calls her Aunt Linda. Everybody Everybody.


So if I were to date her either


I'm sorry, but I don't babysit.


Just like a Niagara

Debbie Charlie:

when I was growing up, you know, Aunt Linda was the most electric electric of Evelyn. Eclectic and electric. My father had eight brothers and sisters. She's the youngest of eight brothers and sisters. Right. Wow. So she's the last little baby. Yeah, some baby. She's the last living of the really fun Negro family. I was very blessed. We had a lot of laughs and she sure carries a torch but back then everybody was like, you know, and like I thought she was maybe a little crazy or something. And I realized exactly like whatever we got. It makes us happy.


That I was crazy. I was conservative in those days. Holy crap.


And now


and now I'm living my best life.

Debbie Charlie:

Looks that way. That'd be shared your Halloween picture with us? Yeah, she looks hot right now. Yeah,


it was this night.

Debbie Charlie:

Tell her what she's Julie for the LeBeau in Boca Raton running the Boca Lago country you have no idea what everyday she's got pictures she's another outfit posting parties this and everybody's watching you're like what is she? She's exhausting to follow she's


high energy like you and Lynn I'm blessed with good energy and good health.

Debbie Charlie:

I know wrinkles. What's what the no wrinkles?


Oh, no, don't look too close. And linen. Whatever happens is gonna be no Botox. no needles, no knives. Nothing goes on this body. Unless it's an absolute emergency. That's it no ear. I don't even have a ears pierced. Can you imagine that? I love her underwear. But a nose ring. I'm not getting it attaches not happening.

Debbie Charlie:

Don't live chat to Atlin like one last shot like one last message. You got a tattoo and Linda what would it say?


What does it say to you if I had a tech? No

Debbie Charlie:

if you got a tattoo, like what would it be?


Oh, it said you don't have to be a rocket to kick your heels out of control.


Oh my god, that would be great on my tombstone. Yeah.


I want to but guess what? There's not enough room. My mother my sister. Um, there's not enough room to put that

Debbie Charlie:

on. The whole the whole getting older thing you know, and Linda, you just said you're 79 I thought you were 78. I will be sending the link in April. You're embarrassing to the rest of your age.


You totally look amazing. Yeah.

Debbie Charlie:

I think it's because you just keep so busy and It does make


a difference I have to tell you and there really are some advantages being over you know, when you go to the airport, you don't have to take your shoes off and then holidays for the you know the holidays, you don't have to cook them. You don't have to do the dishes. The kids do it now, I love it. Those are the heavens set. You don't have to worry about getting pregnant. I'm telling you, there's a lot of advantages here.

Debbie Charlie:

Sometimes you get to the airport, you might if I tell this door and she's like,


No, go right ahead. She's like, I don't know what you're going to say. But if I told you it's okay,

Debbie Charlie:

you told me and she'd be looking at you like, you know, they read through the airports and like 700 miles to the gate. So she goes, Oh, I need a wheelchair. She acts like she has no way


to me. I do have a little sciatica problem that will walk so I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of the airport. Okay, so

Debbie Charlie:

with the story she got she does have a little sciatica, but she she she quickly knows how to maneuver around those airports right now. Boom, right to the front. She's, but um, I don't know how you keep those. So


I asked for a wheelchair. I know. Because I I really can't walk very, very long distance. I mean, like a mile. Okay? But if I sit down for a second, it recharges in Okay, ready to go. But I'm at the airport. They put me in the wheelchair. I asked for it. And they take me right through the gates.

Debbie Charlie:

And you get the cut the line too, right? Isn't that the first ones on? Yeah.


I don't want to think I don't want my airport. Airlines think that I'm taking advantage and

Debbie Charlie:

almost 79 I'm pretty sure no one's chasing after you.


Especially if they see me on the dance floor. Then we got real problems.

charlie ponger:

I guess. I guess taking you for a hike is out of the question.


No, I don't like I'm not like that. And why are we not like I like the beach. Give me the beach my feet up, you know, and the water okay, find the sun. I love it. I love hiking. My daughter is a hiker. I don't know whether she got the gene for maybe from Debbie. I don't like to do all those things that are physically exhausting now Atlin

Debbie Charlie:

she used to live in New York, she moved to Florida Do you think Florida has given you like another lease on life? Because you love it? You look so fresh and healthy all the time?


No, you know what, you know, it's certainly not been 174 pounds. That's not but that's what the right places. So it's okay. No, I don't know about per se, I think time of life. You know, when you go into life, and you're struggling with activities and paying this bill net bill and the orthodontia and college and picking them up and driving them and religious instruction. That's all done, okay. But this time of your life, you have a little few dollars extra not that I'm wealthy but comfortable enough to buy a dress, or go out for dinner if I wanted to go on vacation. So that stress of that everyday living is not there anymore. It's really uh, you know what I'm saying the point. So if you if you want to do it, that takes a lot of, you know, there's no more stress in that direction. For me anyway, some of the people have issues, but for me, I managed to make some good decisions late in life. I caught it late in life before, I was always looking frivolous from paycheck to paycheck. But I caught it in time, and I made enough money to live kind of comfortably at this particular point of my life. And that takes a lot of stress away so you don't have to worry about money, or the kids, whatever. Although you always worry about the kids Big Little no matter makes a big difference. And I made a really good

Debbie Charlie:

point about never too late to make a difference change and to change things to go forward to our whole theme here is never too late. What's still on your bucket list. And Linda,


I'll tell you the truth. This is really amazing. I've done everything on my bucket list. I can make a second one. Alright, and Linda, been to Europe, I travel exams, I had kids, I get whatever I have my own home, had a fur coat. I mean, you know, I did everything that I wanted to do, I would travel to you know, all through Europe, whatever. But I'm wondering, go back, my neck slicks now want to go back, this is Italy, I want to go back again. But you got to go with the right person. If you don't go with somebody that has your energy level and want to do what you want to do very different, close to my age, but she's older in her age for her age, but a lovely, lovely woman. And every day she tells me she you know, let's go to Italy. I finally had to tell her you know, you can't walk to see. I can't ask you to, you know, so legal. It's hard

Debbie Charlie:

to find somebody that's up to your speed to go to Italy besides me. Sure. I'll go we'll talk about we're wrapping this up for you. You're the most colorful person in my life. outland and thanks so much for tuning in, you know for taking the time today.


I just want to tell you one yes, age is a state of mind if you don't mind. I certainly don't mind.

Debbie Charlie:

This is a woman used to push me in a baby carriage okay.


She was As she was bright even when she's a little one, Charlie, it was wonderful to hear your voice over you get to meet one. Play any golf


duty you lose,


I know but if you want to come down here and make sure you

Debbie Charlie:

let me know know what you're playing golf and poker for free you know you're gonna like him it's gonna be a problem. I know I already know you're gonna like her like,


she's not gonna let me call her

Debbie Charlie:

when a character, oh, you have to be a certain age to blurt your weight out on the air, don't you think? Yeah, it's good that we actually

charlie ponger:

listen, when she blurred her age. You slammed down that star but she's learned her. I mean her weight. When it's on the computer. It's so hard. It's all over the place.

Debbie Charlie:

And one thing I didn't want to bring this story up while she was on because I didn't know if she didn't find that. She might take the memory of my aunt passing but we had a crazy thing happened once. And Linda was the youngest her want the aunt who died right before her aunt Yolanda, who I loved. I mean, I really loved was very blessed. But yet Linda and Emily passes is passed away. But she doesn't know it yet. She's in. She's calling the what do you call like Calvary or, you know, she's there every day with her and she left for like one minute because she was invited to a Kenny Rogers concert. She loves Kenny Rogers. She felt guilty. I take her to the concert is at the casino. And so we come out of the thing. We have two separate cars, they can't find my car. I'm waiting 200 hours and said I gotta go. So by the time she finally came out, I was still waiting for my car and she made a call that my aunt had passed. Oh, and she was so upset and nervous that she couldn't be there for the moment. I said, Come on, get my car. I'll drive you and she's like, hurry, hurry, hurry me. Well, we're hurrying. She's dead. But okay. We're gonna hurry anyway, because you're supposed to do nervous as you're nervous disaster, right? So she's, she's, she's smoking a cigarette, and she's flinging it around my corner. Listen, stop. You're gonna burn this car down. I know. I'm trying to drive fast. You're gonna light me on fire. Could you just take it easy and she's not paying attention. She's swinging that cigarette and because I smell smoke, like a real fire. I look over her hairpiece on top of her head is not inflamed. Oh my gosh. It's totally like I look at her like you've got your head on fire. You hit your head. She's like this. Oh, we open the window. And she flings his burning. I have to pull this. I go. Wait, wait. I come off the exit. And there's she flings the burning headpiece on the side of the thing. And then we got right back on. Come on. Just keep going. Okay, we'll keep going. What the hell was that? What the hell was that? Yeah, classic story. Oh. God knows who drove off the road and said what is that dead thing on the side of the road? He was dead hairpiece?


Oh my god. That's hysterical.

Debbie Charlie:

Because she always wears cool hair at little hairpiece. Flames. Great. God bless you aunt Yoli. She would. She's a little conservative. She might not have understood. Better right. We call him next lose his mother.

charlie ponger:

Yeah. All right. So Luke, we got we got your mom on the phone. Well, she's not on yet. I'm dialing. Dialing. Boy.

Debbie Charlie:

That's hysterical. She probably didn't recognize your numbers. I'm calling you right now. Right to voicemail. I don't know who that is. Oh,

charlie ponger:

my God. Well, we're gonna have to try another time to talk. All right, everyone. So thank you so much for listening. Oh, and by the way, yeah. To those two people who donated to the show. Ali and Kathy, a shout out to thank you so much for doing that. Thank you. Yeah, it was wonderful.

Debbie Charlie:

And double shout out for them again. Alright, double

charlie ponger:

shot out. And then listen. You know what, you should sign up for our email list because we're only sending it out on Fridays. And when you click on it, all you're gonna see are the two episodes and you don't even have to go anywhere. You can just play him right in your email. Get that Yeah, it's true. Don't look at me in that tone of voice

Debbie Charlie:

sounds like a grammar school teacher. Like the most like you can't wait for the bell to ring in three to get away from the guy. I'm talking


to teenagers and

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Official Seenagers
Official Seenagers
Never Too Late

About your host

Profile picture for charlie ponger

charlie ponger

Hey Everyone, The Official Seenagers is a comedy improv riffing podcast. Featuring self-deprecating storytelling and so much more!