Episode 9

Packaging, The Priest, And Drag Queens!

The Official Seenagers, new episode, Plastic, The Priest and Drag Queens

Debbie and Charlie laugh about how difficult it is to open plastic packaging these days. Why is it so difficult??

It goes on when you are trying not to laugh during a funeral. Wait till you hear why and what happened!

How did Drag Queens get involved? Well, you will need to Listen!

We also have a little Seenager Life Hack in this episode, you are gonna wanna know about this one!

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Transcript

Packaging, The Priest and Drag Queens!

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS

open, people, packaging, plastic, bathroom, plastic bags, bag, walk, hear, daughter, packages, folding, bad, hack, charlie, dry cleaner, trunk, scissors, fold, true

SPEAKERS

Debbie Charlie, Charlie and Debbie, charlie ponger, Debbie Nigro, Charlie Ponger

Charlie Ponger:

I'm

Charlie and Debbie:

Deb, Charlie, I can't open this package. Oh, today's podcast. Hi everybody. I'm Debbie now, Charlie ponger. How are you guys? Today we're gonna talk about something that's become a problem for me like, I can't open any packages anymore. Add zero Licola these packaging people unbelievable. What? Who? They? I figure? Yeah, r&d guys at most companies who figure on the packaging department. Yeah, they must get high. So we can open it they

charlie ponger:

know we're loving it, right? Like Larsen or whatever that whatever that cartoon was. Remember that weird cartoon Larson or somebody like that? No, I have no, you don't know. Oh, this whole thing like they'd be flying in Airbnb flying an airplane and then

Charlie and Debbie:

oh, it's the far side. That's what it was. Oh, I like the far side. Yeah, remember the packaging? One, but yeah. Okay. Thanks, Charlie. Well, it was a bunch of stuff like that. Okay. Very, very similar. So it all came to light when I needed an Advil. Yeah. And I went to the gas station near my house to get an Advil because I don't have a toothache or something. Whatever reason I need it and I couldn't open it. Unbelievable, right? Oh, you're gonna call Ghostbusters, right? No, it was. I can't open the Advil. You can't even use your teeth to open the fridge. Who's got teeth? So? I do. I have these people haven't but then they're on the they're on the passenger seat. And it's a problem. Yeah, problem number two. So yeah, so usually at home, you'd have a scissor or a knife. Put a scissors in your car. Well, who wants to do that people have like a Swiss army knife. I have. I have knives in my car. That's comforting. Yeah. For what so how about when you're trying to open a battery? Why do you have knives in your car? Just for that kind of stuff? Open packages. Joker pack is that no. Yeah, no, it's true. What else do you have in your cart? Open packages. I have a scissors. Uh huh. I have a nail clipper. Okay, you never know. I don't know what I have to jam with. Sometimes. What a tweezer I don't have a tweezer in there. Sometimes. You got to just dig like I have a sledge hammer in my trunk. You know, it's really bad when you're like a bias packages like a snack like you just want to feel like crunching or you can open I can open I got I got a snack with this. tweezer Are you having trouble like opening like if you buy a bag of popcorn totally rock can can can Oh can open it? No. So many things you cannot open the ridiculous. Well, the one thing that you can open like that. It makes no sense at all. Light bulbs. Light bulbs come in a paper thing. Right? It's the most fragile thing going right. It's really funny. It's really true. If you think about I'm like, you look at the light bulbs and you're like these things. How come they're not in like Super Deluxe. They don't fall out those packaging people. They know they're shallow. They're mellow. They're not word Gatorade, but batteries can open it forget it. So my granddaughter comes the other day I bought her like a juicy juice. I bought a pack of like little juices with the straw attached to the back okay, yeah, so she's sitting there she's three Yeah, let me point you get used to a buddy Barry's gonna connect us Yeah

Debbie Charlie:

Give it to me. I'll show you Yeah, takes it goes and figures out how to pit down and pulls you out here you go. What did you do? What did you do wrong? That's not really packaging that's like her and said really little girl for me is obviously lost her mind I can't open a straw. It was I just couldn't rip it there's no way I mean she has no Grammy like this boom she hits it on the table and it shoots back and I should have caught on to that but well she had a show Grammy. Gees Grammy losing your Yeah, Grammys. lism. I knew what So what other things can we open because it's across anything not just me. Right? It's it's everyone. Everyone we all were all having trouble with this except for a light bulbs. Right, right. I think using different glue are they using I think the plastic is thicker. Sometimes you even have trouble opening up the plastic, you know, with your scissors to cut through the stuff, right? So I'm like, What the hell? You can't cut through this stuff. Yeah, you need to put band aids and a first aid kit. If you're gonna cut open a tone you need a box cutter box cutter and a base to cut the things right. It's remarkable to me. So it's all these people who are trying to do better. But packaging and I get it because there's nuts out there who want to stick stuff in people's products and ruin them before they get to you. We shouldn't be we shouldn't be using plastic to begin with. That's a whole nother topic. But should we Right? Right. You have to do better. Yeah, somebody just got rid of and forgive me I think it was a beer brand got rid of the plastic beer six pack loops that hold the beer I don't drink beer because of all of the all those symbols all the CIF yeah the in the in there in the water yeah, the was terrible. So they stopped doing it was banned. Yeah, I don't like I don't like bad substances that clog up the world. I'm dead. Whoa, we're already we're all

Debbie Nigro:

done. You kidding me? Oh bad about it all. And I don't miss the plastic supermarket backs. Me either. I thought I might All right, so let's talk about that for a second. How many times in your life you know, since they said okay, no more plastic bags?

Debbie Charlie:

Like me? Have you left the bags in the trunk? And you go into the store every single second time, right? Do you need a bag and you look at how many things

Charlie and Debbie:

you go, No, I don't need a bag and have 17 in my car. I didn't take all these things against my chest and what I got like, so you know what I do? With avocados? Peanut butter. Do what I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna give you a life hack. Ready? Okay.

Charlie Ponger:

You take the carriage. You walk it over to the car. You open the trunk. You get your bags out. You put the crap in the bags, and then you walk back to the bat. What do you think of that one?

Charlie and Debbie:

For a Seenager life hack, that's so perfect, right? Why am I literally I got I have Lyme stuffed in my bra. You know, get to the car. Okay, so not only because I'm mad at myself true confession, though. It took me like five times to figure that out. It wasn't like I will go let me just, it's like, you know, yeah, let me buy some bags. And then I'm like, What the hell am I doing? This is so stupid. So Right. So we don't miss the plastic bags. I used to have 700 Under my sink, just in case of what? I don't know. I click doing why. Why did everybody collect those things? I went to my daughter to watch we go listen, are we all mentally alarmed? Because what? Everybody raised their hand. Why are we holding on to every single plastic? Are you a hoarder? No. In fact, I'm glad we don't have these plastic bags anymore. But I have so many other bags in my car that I actually have to stop myself and say really? How many do you have? Not as many as you but I do have that face off with this dork person when they go. So do you need a bag? Nice stop. And I think to them, look at them. I go.

Debbie Charlie:

So now you know. Yeah. And it's not about paying for the bag. It's about now that I was stupid. Well, now you know, you can just say no, I'm good. I'm gonna take my car to my trunk. Charlie told me to do this. Thanks for that hack. Alright, so Okay, so shopping. Yeah. Plastic bags. Yeah. Okay, well, what about this? What about plastic over dry cleaning? Have you ever been to a dry cleaner? Are you kidding right now? Are they still in business? I don't know. Because nobody's wearing suits. Nobody's commuting. Nobody's going to offices, and everybody's doing so this is what I figured about about the dry cleaners. Right? This is what I figured out about if you buy a sweater for let's call it 100 bucks. Right? I'm just using a round number. You keep taking that friggin thing to the dry cleaner. That sweater now costs you $5,000 By the time you're done, so why just just wear it wash it when it gets in your wallet or whatever it is on what is it a gentle or whatever. And when it shot just get yourself a new one because otherwise what's the point? It keeps taking the stupid thing to the dry cleaner? I know the poor dry cleaner. I used to have a boyfriend. What a rip off. Yeah, he used to have an $800 a month dry cleaning bill back then. Because it suits I should have seen the signs. Yeah, it was a suit. Yeah, but the plastic on the dry cleaning. You're not supposed to leave that on your if you have anything that comes back to the cleaners. That's very bad to leave on there. It's bad for your house bad for your health bear for the thing. Get rid of that plastic people leave stuff in the cars. Well, it's a plastic because of the fumes from the dry cleaning of the clothes. So what does that tell you? You shouldn't be dry cleaning anything done? Put dry cleaners don't get don't do that. We need to help everybody in small business. Yeah. In small business. I always shop. I try to shop local as much as possible. I do too. But when I get my tubes Kip, my cubes shift and chippy, okay.

Charlie and Debbie:

I'm like I'm trying to shop at your store, man. So I'm gonna go do you start with that? Yeah, I'm Chinese daddy. You shot he stole me. I don't think anybody really wants to stop him. But I keep my mouth shut. I know. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah. So So where are we where do we start this whole now that we can't open packages? Yeah. Right. So I think of what else I had trouble like opening everything. Oh, I when I buy something like for example today. I take it out of the box. I hand them the box and they say thank you very much can take care of this box for me. So I don't take it home. I Haley I hate cardboard boxes. So what is it that people will pack cardboard boxes say you open up something completely packed. You never can put it back in the same way. There's no yeah, you can but you mean you really cannot. Yeah. Like they have people just micromanaging the folding process. Right? Yeah, yeah, people people who can fold are really impressive. She spent some time this weekend. Watching people, folding hacks. Well, folding hacks. Don't ask me how I got involved with the Asian guys in the fashion industry. Yeah, but they showed me how to fold a pair of jeans. I watched that thing. 12 times no kid Shut up. And then I got excited about their folding ability and then watched them fold shirts. Then I watched them other people fold other stuff and I was just

Debbie Charlie:

No, it was beautiful.

Charlie and Debbie:

What about a bottom sheet? How are you with that? Folding it? Yeah, no idea. Really just do it. Oh no, I'm a pro at it. I haven't talked to me because I taught my kids how to do it. Is there a way there's a way? Really? Yeah, I can't believe it. I just you start you start and then wherever it lands, it's nice to see you. No matter what. You can make it look like you know, it's like a Bed Bath and Beyond kind of thing. I would never believe you would know that. Yeah, that's insane. Yeah. Okay, get the sheet now. No, almost.

Debbie Charlie:

I need to know. I can't get up because I didn't stretch yet. Alright, so yeah, we want to talk about right now. I'm sorry, I was just packaging because I couldn't believe that it would keeps going on.

Charlie Ponger:

Well, I actually have a very funny story to tell you. Okay.

Charlie and Debbie:

It's about when i

Charlie Ponger:

i decided to stop by at a funeral thing at a church. And it was for random or it was for my ex wife's grandmother. And I want your welcome addition. I went because my kids you know, because my kids um, science. There was a long time ago. Okay, so I'm not sorry. So but I go into the it's the thing is already taking place, right. And I'm late for the thing. Oh, well.

Debbie Nigro:

You just made fun of me. Yeah. That being late. Yeah. I late for that for Shut up pointed out.

11:35

I don't want to be disrespectful to whoever passed away. Rest in peace, Russ. You're so Italian sometimes.

Charlie and Debbie:

Why don't you make the sign of the cross when you do that? If I was a rapper, I'd be heavy.

Debbie Charlie:

Guilt would be my rapper name. So I walk in I sit in the back row. It's right about when the guy's doing his communion thing whatever that Hell's whatever. That's called being disrespectful to the church. No, no, I don't I'm not waving your hands and just respectful. But religious. You're operating What do you shaking? Hands are going like this? Because I don't know what the hell that thing is that they do.

Charlie and Debbie:

So so he's got the point. So so he's he all of a sudden, don't say get to the point your, your ADHD kicks in all of a sudden, you got to say kids.

Charlie Ponger:

You can take four seconds and it's over for you. Well, one minute we're talking about packaging. Yeah, now I'm at somebody's

Charlie and Debbie:

story my. So I'm in the back row. And now the guy goes and he leaves and he goes into the back. And all of a sudden, you hear

Charlie Ponger:

wipe, wipe, wipe. Wipe. Wipe, wipe. I'm like nah. What? Then you're the toilet flush. Stop it. Here's the toilet flush. The guy had his microphone. He went number two!. And then and then. And then you hear this footsteps walking over and he walks over to the sink guy and he turns funeral. Yes.

Debbie Nigro:

You hear the guy. And he's wiping.

Charlie Ponger:

So now friggin hysterical in the back row. You know, in your shoes, try not to laugh in your shoulders go up and down. You got tears coming down. And you're trying to deliver easy and now he comes out on nothing. You know, and I'm looking at my two daughters are like they're like in the third row from the front. And they're both they're both have great sense of humors right? And you see them when they heard that. One daughter looked at the other opened her mouth with her eyes. They turned to each other and they started laughing so hard. They were banging each other's foreheads, right? They don't know I'm there. Right. Now I go up to receive Communion. And my daughter's on the edge of the thing on the pew and I walked down I just put my hand on her shoulder and she looks up at me and I look at her and she let out a scream

14:16

and I walking down the thing and everybody's like oh, here's the divorce you know? And I'm walking down my shoulders are growing up and down they think I'm crying

Charlie Ponger:

I'm trying not to laugh

Debbie Charlie:

that helped out oh my

Charlie Ponger:

god it's a true story man.

Debbie Charlie:

That's a crazy story. Yeah, crazy story. The only you're bringing me now I don't know where we went from packaging to here in the bathroom. On the one time I was on it was a long time ago the Sally Jessy Raphael show me and make me up. You are on Sally. Jeff Jesse on TV all the time. Oh, God bless you. Yeah, that was cute. So yeah, that was like the queen of like the soundbite so you need a topic. Anyway, I'm in the they make you up. Yeah, makeup hair thing my you know the whole

Debbie Nigro:

It's under your clothes it's yes hard to extricate right. Same thing. What are you? Yeah, but no well I realized it was on but I was on air

Debbie Charlie:

that would have been great. I was like, oh, no, the only thing that was I almost lost it in the bowl. The thing in the bowl. Oh, the mic in the middle that's a bad with the battery and the whole thing. Oh, spared by a second. You caught it. You know, Charlie, Did I ever tell you the story about the time I went into the wrong bathroom by accident and I didn't know it. I love to hear that. Just to remind you a little a little tip for dressing audience never put your cell phone in the back pocket of a pair of jeans ever.

Charlie Ponger:

Got enough rice in the well that happened to my daughter. Not right in the toilet.

Debbie Charlie:

Not enough rice in the world. Yes. No. Come back from that. Okay, so continue. I'm sorry.

Charlie Ponger:

Well, I was on a business trip in London. And I had to go the bathroom.

Debbie Charlie:

I can't live is disgusting conversation. We're having you started with a funny joke. You know now we're making disgusting. Alright.

Debbie Nigro:

We're actually like teenagers.

Debbie Charlie:

Why went into the wrong door? Ah, it was terrible. I was in there. How long? A while and I heard footsteps of high heels. And I thought what the hell is that guy doing were

Debbie Nigro:

really?

Charlie and Debbie:

And then I realized, oh my god, I'm on the road. So I lifted my feet up and waited for that person to leave. That's a visual.

Debbie Charlie:

What do you do sashay out. Oh, my God. I was like, oh, imagine, and I'm on a business trip. Right? And so if you could imagine imagine if that if, if someone saw me they would have thought I was some kind of lunatic? Yeah.

Debbie Nigro:

Pretty much. I'll tell you about the bathroom in New York City. On New Year's Eve one time a million years ago. When we have time. I'll tell you really quick. So as I go down there I'm 18 years old. I don't know anything better I'd wait for the ball to go up. It goes down. Who knew? Okay, nobody gave me the memo. And then I go into the bathroom it's one in order to go with it. I'm I gotta go. No, that's not what happened. Well, everybody was jumping up and down. I went yeah, they would know I went what and then I got hit in the head with one of those metal my face cuz I know my face went to the one bathroom went in there. I was like looking in the mirror at the blood on my face. It was frozen. And two really big women would next came in next to me and I was like the biggest women I have ever seen in my life. And I'm a big girl. Yeah, you weren't. You know, they were just they were playing and they were trying to help me and that was my first exposure to drag queens and people who

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Never Too Late

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charlie ponger

Hey Everyone, The Official Seenagers is a comedy improv riffing podcast. Featuring self-deprecating storytelling and so much more!