Episode 38

Ever Been Chased By A Cop?

Improv riffing, stuff just happens..like.. all the time

An exquisite Korean beauty named Sun. Her Mercedes was stuck at the top of my driveway; her car computer had a brain fart. The cop was there too, helping Sun. Sun is exceptionally animated, a broken English, funny storyteller. Luckily for me, I have a Ph.D. in broken English. Luz Michelle in disbelief, and Debbie with no cell service.

Wait, there is more... the title of this episode is about a cop chasing me because I had to go to the bathroom, and I wasn't stopping!

You will be entertained and laugh for 20 minutes, guaranteed. :)

Oh about the photo of Sun, it doesn't do her justice.. Debbie took the photo! lol!

Transcript

Cop Chasing Charlie!

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

car, cop, pull, tire, people, driving, driveway, truck, road, , thought, cataract , stun gun, wood, problem, highway, stop, flying, Charlie Ponger, Debbie Nigro, Luz Michelle, policemen, cops, cop chase, helping others, teenager, seenager, improv riffing, funny, comedy, beautiful women, beautiful Korean woman, wood splitting, laugh, laugh out loud, poo pourri, route 80, highway 95, highway, Mercedes, Mercedes SUV, texting, cellphones, no cell signal, cell towers, Bedford NY

SPEAKERS

Charlie Ponger, Luz Michelle, Debbie Nigro

charlie ponger:

What the hell happened out there Deb?

Debbie Charlie:

You tell me buddy because I'm full up after getting texted the whole way on here, the cops are here there's cops inside and a woman that jolly wishes was his ex wife. I'm like what the hell are you talking about?

Luz, Charlie:

And I think it was his ex perpetual fiance wasn't know what going on

Debbie Luz:

and I'm saying to myself, am I gonna go into this bees nest? What am I doing here? And I'm texting lose like when you text somebody like you want an immediate answer why? And I'm still there. I'm not pulling into a car fest. What are we doing? I mean, did somebody tell you something wrong? me taking them? What are we doing here?

Charlie, Luz:

Right so let's give our listeners a little backdrop. I went to the top of my driveway because I thought Luz was sitting at the top of the driveway right garage, I got lost getting in today she did that's a whole nother story three blocks is just unbelievable. Today is it's Venus is in retrograde or something like that would be

Debbie Charlie:

Mars but that's out to Mars goes to retrograde. Venus just parties or

charlie ponger:

obviously I don't know. Oh, it's Mercury mercury.

Debbie Charlie:

Like I said Mercury's in retrograde right. Wow. Alright, so anyway, said that, okay. You said Mars, and mercury. All right.

charlie ponger:

So anyway, I go to the top of the driveway Luz and there, there's this beautful woman says a woman's Sun is her name. We got to know each other intimately. Son in her Mercedes. The computer broke down in her car. She managed to like pull over but there was no break or anything. And she almost backed into my garage.

Debbie Charlie Luz:

What do you mean pulled over, this is like highway past? I barely make your driveway every time every turn. Every time. It's not just a turn. It's a holy turn.

Luz Michelle:

45 miles now. Boom, there, Charlie.

Charlie Ponger:

With a red smiley face on my mailbox.

Debbie Charlie Luz:

Can't see that. Oh, I see is you know, very up close. There's warning signs. It's like, you know, when you're coming around a band. They're called Chevron's. While they're loud. And they're like, Watch out. Watch out. Watch out. This is not good. Yeah. And then just your driveway. Somewhere between not good and holy shit. I hear. I almost got killed. So this

Charlie Ponger:

poor woman Yeah. She managed to like get into my driveway, and then she's going to hit the brake. You know? It won't stop.

Debbie Nigro:

Well, let me tell you about getting into your driveway. That wasn't intentional. on her part. She had her car musta veered off like it was going into a to a lake that to get in your driveway.

Luz Michelle:

Was she making a U turn?

Charlie, Luz:

I couldn't understand it. Because she's you know, she's Korean. She speaks broken English. And she laughed about that too, by the way. So she said she was like a Brooklyn. Korean accent. Yeah. She said step. She said, Well, I got one leg on the break. And then I was getting tired. I'm trying to figure out where who can help me.

Luz, Charlie:

But she's showing us and she's skipping her feet and going back to the wheel.

Charlie Ponger:

It was hysterical, and there's no signal up there. She's like, trying to figure out how to get in touch with 911

Debbie Nigro:

the signal, right?

Luz, Charlie:

She's yelling. Yes. Yelling

Charlie, Luz, Debbie:

I don't hear I'm uh, I'm on the deck writing stuff out. And so I go I wonder what Luz the hell she doing up there. So I go, Oh my god. So I go up there. And there's this beautiful Mercedes with a piece of wood underneath the back tire and then I see the cop with the lights on. And she gets the wood. He got it from my wood pile

Debbie Charlie:

convenience. Unbelievable. So there's no service here which to me? No, sir. is outrageous. It's one of the richest communities in the United States. Bedford NY, For these people want to die? Yeah. What is

charlie ponger:

it? I don't know. It's what do they call well?

Debbie Charlie:

Do strange people run around in their 90s knocking on people's doors when there's an emergency? What happens?

charlie ponger:

I think the really rich people have double secret kind of phones that have cell service all over the place.

Luz Michelle:

We also need more towers. You know, that's a whole nother kind of you were

Debbie Charlie:

whining now we're back to the problem. Where's the comedy in this? Where's the comedy?

Charlie and Debbie:

Oh, Suz. Her husband are gonna come over and do a recording with us.

Luz, Charlie:

who sues? I mean, Sun, Sun,

Charlie, Luz, Debbie:

boy. The short term memory loss thing is really rearing his Sun so I get I'm texting. She's beautiful. I thought he was cute. Very cute. I thought Meanwhile, I'm texting her. What do you mean cops? What do you mean answer thing call me back. Step outside do something. There's no service, i am tryin to get service. It's a SWAT operation. Yeah, they ripped Charlie stole something. Yeah. Why are the cops Yeah, really? Yeah. So I pull in just at the exact moment as the tow truck and your new friend Sun are pulling out with her Mercedes SUV. And oh, hey, hey. Oh, you must be the perps. People calling on the commotion. She's like cash. I'll get you so cute talking. And then try to listen. Let's get a little promotion for you guys. You guys just stay right there. Take some pictures of the truck, your car. I know you're meant to be here. But let's have a little fun with this thing. Tomorrow is gonna be a better day and they're like, Yay, I

charlie ponger:

gotta do another video. What do you mean? I'll do a video of like, you sent me stuff. Yeah.

Debbie Charlie:

Yeah, it was a different kind of situtuation you He believed me it kept going.

Luz, Charlie:

And kind of rolled the lid on like, I'm gonna really want to be involved with him, i just hug up with him

Debbie Charlie:

as you say, you don't want to be involved, really,

charlie ponger:

Staten Island say how they don't say Staten Island,

Debbie Charlie:

I had to get a new tire. I had a flat tire this week. A slow flat. It's happened a couple of times you know when you get a little thing in the tire and the note patch in and then you do it again you get a patch it at some point the guy goes, Listen, if another new tire you tell me about it, I go Alright, fine. Next time, maybe we have a problem, right? So low tire pressure on a highway is never relaxing, because you don't know exactly what they're telling you right low for how long low before what the car just stops. It goes in the woods. So I had to go get a new tire which is you just don't want to buy one tire. But then again, you don't want to buy for for no reason. So I'd buy one tire. So I had my made entire voyage up here. And it doesn't exactly match. I don't think oh, well then that's a problem.

Charlie and Debbie:

I told the guys this ello ello that you didn't get four you got one.

Debbie Charlie:

I got one. No, it didn't match, of course. All right, but I'm thinking all the way up here. You know, in terms of people stepping up to the plate when other people having trouble. Would you stop in this day and age to help somebody with a flat tire on the side of the road?

Charlie, Luz:

I have, It all depends.

Debbie Charlie:

I would call 911 for the Yeah,

Luz Michelle:

they would definitely call, I would definitely call on my lats.

Debbie Charlie:

Because every news story is

charlie ponger:

a male female thing.

Luz Michelle:

Yeah. What do you just don't know?

Debbie Charlie:

You just don't know. Every good

charlie ponger:

would have your husband Harrison What a great name love that you say to him

Luz, Charlie:

sometimes

charlie ponger:

if he were with you when he stopped to help

Luz, Charlie:

no, all the depemds Oh,

Charlie, Luz:

is that because you guys from Staten Island is that when you walk

Luz, Charlie:

in his you knew you roll down the window? Of course it looks like this is a really it was a really dangerous situation. I would probably pull over make sure someone was calling their smoke and fire of course. Right smoke and fire. You know babies involved in shit. Right. But sometime roll down the wind. No, you all right. You know. Do it again. No. i'll lose my voice

Debbie Nigro:

I certainly making hand waves, the Italian hand gestures, cool.

Luz Michelle:

styling and aggressive. Yeah. And

Charlie Ponger:

you know what they do in California? This is true. You know how they're supposed to be so nice and everything. They pretend like they don't see you.

Luz, Charlie:

Yeah, and they would think New York is no I know New

Charlie Ponger:

Yorkers are the best.

Debbie Charlie:

I will tell you though. The last four like stories about people stopping to help other people like they're no longer with us. What do you mean the good samaritans? Like boom? Yeah, it's terribly tragic. Oh. By a car

charlie ponger:

don't look at me in that tone of voice deb.Oh, I

Debbie Nigro:

want to know is would you know can you stop and help some even changing a tire? Do you know that change a tire?

Charlie, Luz:

What do you mean of course I know how to change it's splitting wood. I'm I got my chainsaw out Charlie the man shoes. Electrical work. I don't know how to change a tire you're,

Debbie Charlie:

you're almost like a too macho for the show. But you guys keep flunnin it up all the time. He's been chopping wood for three weeks to come in and I kick him I kick a piece of my foot foot. Like I get this out of my way. On the idea of changing a tire or anything car related, I was so impressed that Queen Elizabeth in her final, you know, tribute change the tire. No, she's to be like, seriously cool. Under the hood of a car. She knew how to change everything that went on under the hood of a car. And she served in the military. And that's where she learned how to, you know, fix cars and do that. And she had a secret garage where she kept cars and she had to tinker around and catalog Catherine car thing over she were toolbelt I don't know. But she was very clear when it came to cars and a T shirt. Compared to let me ask you lose, lose. You're in your car, right guy? You're gonna need a tire you call the tire place you go listen, you have a tire for your lease, you know what you're driving? And they say what model and you go you know, the one I'm driving

Luz, Charlie:

model and they give me like a model of the tire and the car

Debbie Charlie Luz:

both the tire what size that and then you find yourself for clumped. And now I've got the manual. Yeah. If you need a manual for Yeah, I'm going. I've had the car three years. Now I'm reading the manual now. Have you ever read the car manual?

Luz, Charlie:

Like when I need something or I can't find Yeah, then I will fix something in the car. It's like the buyer. Yeah. Have you can't find that one button like in the new car.

charlie ponger:

Well is a fuse box, right?

Luz, Charlie:

Where's the gas thing?

Charlie, Luz, Debbie:

Model? Am I driving? What model? Turn the radio on, right? That's like

Luz Michelle:

the other day I called to make an oil change. And the guys like how many miles are on your car? I was like, I'm not sure it's near what it's supposed to be to get an oil change. And he's like, ma'am, I need a number and I'm like, What did people walk around knowing how many miles are on their car like I just When I make an appointment, right, I'm like, What's the number? And he's like, Well, it says at 35 I'm like, so I'm probably at 37. What's all these questions? Yeah, my How

Charlie, Luz:

are you with trucks on the highway?

Luz, Charlie:

I hate it. You do? I do. Yeah. Well, the other day I drove to see my mother, you know, she's out in Staten Island who? My mother My mother loves da No, th is there's no th ism. I have a

Debbie Luz:

Gam and what's her husband? How do you refer to her husband as your what?

Luz Michelle:

My father thought da? Yeah, yeah. So trucks? Sure it was massive. No, I do this. I was on everything. I'm on. New Jersey Turnpike. I'm on 95 I'm on 87 I'm on all all now on all of them to get it's insane. hour and a half to two hours of insanity driving. But you're talking like I was almost circled by trucks. Right. You were you were in this was like the New Jersey Turnpike part. Yeah. Flying whether they attract their seats down there is flying and I'm like, why are we on the same road?

Debbie Charlie:

Now what I tell you what happens when your body is something happens to your body in the middle of the truck run? What do you mean? Your hyperactive thought what your thumb your hypothalamus everything goes whack your Wow. Well, you start to get so wound up, you get

charlie ponger:

wound up

Debbie Charlie:

starts to get your adrenaline pumping. Because more than right now,

Luz, Charlie:

you feel like you're on a race track to pay attention

Debbie Charlie:

very, very nerve wracking.

Luz, Charlie:

To me. It's a whole thing. You know, where it gives

Debbie Luz:

you an opportunity to pick the road with just cars and trucks. I love that. And then you're in the wrong friggin side.

Debbie Nigro:

But you never stop at a truck stop. When these people actually stop because they never. They don't stop until they find a truck stop. Yeah, and then they're all they're eaten like enroute at meatloaf. Really hard. Everything ever desired to buy a truckstop. Have you

Charlie Ponger:

ever driven across country? I know. It's route 80. It's the worst road on the planet. It's unbelievable. Because all it is is it's for truckers to go from here to California. That's it. And these truckstops are massive. They're literally hardly any hotels anywhere. It makes no sense. And there's no like real restaurants anywhere except for McDonald's and stuff like that. It's brutal. And it's

Debbie Nigro:

a very tough, tough life to being at being a truck driver. For those guys. Kind of interesting on the on the open road.

charlie ponger:

You think so? Sure.

Debbie Nigro:

I do think it's interesting. If you are somebody who can't sit in front of a computer, you're going to sit anywhere at least you change the scenery in front of you

Charlie and Debbie:

when you're in a car. Have you ever been a Luz? Have you ever been pulled over by the cops? And a cop Chase almost or what?

Luz, Charlie:

No, I wouldn't do that. No, I did stuff like that. When I was a teenager. I did. Oh, you did? Oh, yeah. Caps and emblems. And yeah, Did, your a real Staten Island girl. How about you Deb?

Debbie Nigro:

There was at one time.

Luz, Charlie:

hubcaps like college college? Yeah, I

Debbie Nigro:

lied to my father. Yeah, he didn't like the idea. He would never let me work in a bar. And I had a nice job in the most coolest bar as a waitress, but I couldn't tell him. Yeah, and there was an X they wanted me to stay a little worked in the holiday. So I told my extra school to do. And it's Christmas Eve. And I already out you know, I gotta get to dinner. The Seven fish were swimming waiting for me. And I had to get home and I was with my buddy Ellen. She loves his story. At that time. I have to admit it. Yeah, the couch. Well, I got I got a little how you say? High.

charlie ponger:

You got hammered. No, I was a little as my friend. You got a hammer. Oh, relax.

Debbie Charlie:

Something I never would do in this day and age because I'm too mature. Oh, yeah. Getting the car because yeah, I'm like, I

charlie ponger:

want a car. Right? Yeah,

Debbie Charlie Luz:

I mean, it's just that's what I worry about. But the new cannabis freedom of everybody's smoking act is how they're going to manage people driving. It's a project influence and I think there's something to be considered here um, something to be concerned about. Because you go too slow. That's the problem. I you

charlie ponger:

know, like me,

Debbie Nigro:

I'm on this crazy road back. There's nobody because everybody's at Christmas eve dinner except me and Ellen, who's in the car with me who decided to come home late, you know, just go to New York City. And we're on some road back from upstate New York. And all of a sudden you see the cop lights in my rearview mirror. Oh, go how's it gone? Man? So I parallel park in the middle of a major highway. Oh, okay. Number one reason not to be driving high parallel park onto like a to some side thing and the cop comes up to the Windows truth and he's As you know, I've been chasing you for 20 minutes? and you gotta be kidding me. I can't believe it. He must have been. There must have been some stun gun stuff going on. Because I just kept talking like, oh my gosh, my Oh, Christmas Eve and the thing was surprised me. She's Jewish and I'm not sure if I was gonna kill him. You don't know I was in a bar and the guy got such a headache. He wouldn't like you know, now you know what? Whatever happened. He wished me a happy Christmas Eve. So my call is gonna kill me and we just went off. And Ellen to this day she goes, it was like a stun gun. It was like he wouldn't use you pointed a stun gun up like forget we even had this moment. Yeah. And he'd let you go. What the way back? Yeah, I got pulled over going too slow. Yes, he goes, I've been chasing you for 20 miles at like five miles. Can you imagine

Charlie Ponger:

I have to cop stories that will tell you quickly. The first one was, I was with my friend Suzanne. And we were we were younger. And we were out upstate Connecticut. And we got shit faced drunk. It was in the summertime. It was a rooftop. We're drinking rum and whatever's and blah, blah, blah. So we're in this Suzuki sidekick with no you know, convertible, and we're driving around in a cop pulls us over on he should have and I'm like, Oh, we're screwed. So all the time. So I started telling the cops some jokes. And he started laughing at me a little bit. Let us go. Are you

Debbie Charlie:

serious? I'm not a fan of drinking and drive. I refuse to do it anymore. Just do not drink and drive. Me there. Hopefully you guys don't. Back then back then. It was a very different time. Yeah. Well, you know, it wasn't enough talk about it. So

Charlie Ponger:

in my younger day, I was living in a certain area and my ex brother in law was living just you know, down the road. I'm in the car. And I have to go number two so badly. And I, and I'm flying. And a cop is chasing me. I can't pull over because if I pull over, it's over, over. So I'm flying down the road. I can't even make it to my house. I pull into my brother in law's house. I boom, quick left pulling. And I get out of the car and I get the wall in my back and my back pocket and I throw it down on the seat and I go I gotta go the bathroom. My all my stuff is right there. And I go into the bathroom is crazy. David, David, like, David sees me go flying by he's in the kitchen. And I slammed the door. And I'm on the throne. And all of a sudden you hear the cop come into the house. Where is he? Oh, this is true. And he goes where's he and David? I don't know. I know him pretty well. When he's got to go. He's got to go. In the Cop goes, so Jesus Christ, and He can hear him like he's got so frustrated around him. He left.

Debbie Charlie:

Really? Yeah, well you smell this story. You weren't lying. Yeah,

Luz, Charlie:

you don't want to deal with that.

Debbie Charlie:

Okay, so can we get on to something brighter and less smelly? Is there anything because that virtual smell and the whole thing?

Charlie and Debbie:

Mine doesn't smell Deb,

Debbie Charlie:

Charlie. Yeah, they didn't invent the poo pourri.

charlie ponger:

I got stairs rageous Milo's got the worst poop hurry of all time.

Debbie Charlie:

No. Mary is a beautiful it is right it is but they the instructions are spray before you go. Nobody does know it's always afterward it says on the bottle spray

charlie ponger:

before you in the in the in the water always

Luz, Charlie:

in the water. Yeah. What are you talking about? And the border of the door? You're supposed

charlie ponger:

to spray it in the water.

Debbie Charlie:

I didn't see. Better glasses. You

charlie ponger:

really do. You left another pair here. Okay, how many pairs of glasses you're gonna learn?

Debbie Charlie:

I have no idea can't see out of them. Anyway. cataract operation we're going to talk to Dr. Bob. I'm going to be having a cataract operation in between like these episodes where they take the cataract off your eye for one guy then you heal and then you see for two weeks with one eye then you add the other

charlie ponger:

one. Oh my. Oh, I'm sorry. No,

Debbie Charlie:

it's kind of gonna be able to glasses. I don't know. I'm just gonna hope to see you again soon. I really don't care. I don't know. I didn't know but anyway. Yeah, remind me to look into that poop hurry instructions. You gotta bring it on vacation whenever you travel. Listen guys, whenever you travel in your little catch overnight case put a little poop hurry because it's usually you thinking going on some like romantic placements that one bathroom. Just get it just just pray it. Nice little housekeeping.

charlie ponger:

What is on our website? Yes,

Debbie Charlie:

we have one we have. Yeah,

charlie ponger:

okay. wwe.teenagers.com never do it. I put we put up a donation. It's a little cup of coffee in the lower left hand side icon. So if you guys are up for donating, that would be fantastic. Why

Debbie Charlie:

we're gonna ask them to donate Well, we can grow the show. Oh, you didn't

charlie ponger:

let me finish again Monday.

Debbie Charlie:

So yeah, we want our people

charlie ponger:

cover our costs, I need to buy some new hardware. I'd love to buy video equipment. So we could do it like that.

Debbie Charlie:

We want to be able to, to include more people in what we're doing. Listening

charlie ponger:

in marketing, right so we can grow because the show's growing and we don't want it to stop. And the

Debbie Charlie:

reason why we're really passionate about this is we're hitting an underserved demographic one that everybody's like Pooh poohing on, like the buffo we talked about during the show, as not being as viable are irrelevant and we know that's not right. No, even lose. No, she's back us up. She's like, I'll be back.

Luz, Charlie:

I'm here. I'm here.

charlie ponger:

Loose before we go. Do me a favor. Just say Harrison. One more time,

Luz, Charlie:

Harrison.

20:54

Oh, that's her husband's name.

charlie ponger:

All right, everyone. Until next time, see you later.

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charlie ponger

Hey Everyone, The Official Seenagers is a comedy improv riffing podcast. Featuring self-deprecating storytelling and so much more!